Wednesday, September 29, 2010


This post is in answer to an invitation by my sister Marianne to share what it means to be a woman. I tried to answer in the comment section, but it was too long, and I lost it all. :( So just a reminder, always copy your comments if you spend a long time on them, because you just never know when they will just randomly fall through the cracks in the internet. But I believe in providence, so this is just a chance to write it even better.

So here's my third try. (the first time I hit the wrong button when I was halfway through and found myself on another webpage.)

What is my deepest desire? It is for the world to be healed and for the people of God to be completely defined by the all encompassing new creation order of the Second Adam. Defined by the Sermon on the Mount and the Jesus story just as Israel was defined by the Law of Moses and the Exodus. Defined by the resurrection order of reconciliation, not by human institutions organized under the curse. Defined by the infusion of the Spirit into every living member of this Body.

This is what my personal identity stems from. In my aspirations and pursuit of organic homesteading and natural parenting, I see my participation in the renewal of creation. In my choice of unschooling/homeschooling, I see it as a way to undo the mental hegemony of "the powers that be", a way to "bring down strongholds and make every thought captive to Christ". These are just some examples that come to mind.

I guess my deepest personal desire is to be free. Free to exercise my gifts in every arena and to be recognized as an equal in every circle, as a competent defender of truth and a formidable foe against evil. I have the heart of a warrior, a fierce instinct to protect, to mother all that are weak, to undo the powers of oppression with all that I have and to offer shelter to the beaten and oppressed. I hate injustice and the thing I hate next to that is a stereotype. I am always seeking ways to define myself outside of them, and when I stay in them I am stifled.

What fulfills, moves, inspires, frees? Dancing to a good rhythm, when the beat and music flow through my body and control my movements. Swimming in a river, biking on an open road by woods and fields, any kind of flowing motion in a natural setting. I love hiking a new trail, wondering what is around the next curve or over the next hill. I constantly crave adventure and novelty. I almost always have to have something new to try. And ideas. When I am reading something and a spark goes off somewhere inside. And suddenly a million sparks go off at once, connections are made, and a new idea is conceived. Then it must be born somehow, through some form of expression, whether prose, poetry, a form of physical art, or even an activity. These are the things that make me "tick". What does all this have to do with being a woman- a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter? Everything. My family and friends are both the recipients of my gifts, which are expressions of love as well as fulfillment of the cycle of who I am and what I think and what I do, and a constant source of inspiration for them. But I want to make one thing clear. Womanhood does not define me so much as I define it, or rather contribute to the definition of it, along with all the other women who do so as well.

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